With questions omitted:
10. No, that’s not a contest you heard on that WARC band.
9. You should probably study.
8. Yes, the bands are dead and it’s not your rig/antenna/coax/ears/QTH.
7. Whatever rig/logging program/medication best fits your needs.
6. No, not all young people are lazy.
5. Yes, that QSL/awards system is a PITA, but you’ll eventually figure it out like we did.
4. It just is.
3. Yes, we’ve heard the LIDs on that frequency and, no, you’re not the first person to hear them. Yes, the FCC knows about them, and no, you’re not going to stop them with your crusade/monitoring/recordings/complaints/hand-wringing/prayer group.
2. No one shops at that store anymore. Yes, it sucks and has for several decades. Don’t go to that store.
1. Google.
Radio Artisan 
With that answer key, you’ll put eham offline!
(and are there any #2 [I see what you did there] stores left?)
Supposedly there are, but all the stores in my area have closed. It’s not much of a loss for me as I can get everything I need online quickly. Ironically I find more amateur radio stuff at the local hardware store: tubing, wire, and hardware for antennas!
Oh no you didn’t… 73, Jeff
Elmers officially obsolete.
I think we are going to need Q signals for these.